Five stages of house

1) This is my room. It has purple carpet and these are my favorite books and this is my collection of china animals. My mother wishes we had a bigger kitchen. I like to look out the window. I never ever want to move.

2) When I get my real house, it is going to be so nice. It will reflect my real personality, not my mother’s, not my housemates’. This place is temporary. I don’t even think we own a vacuum cleaner.

3) Sunny, brite, 3BR, EIK, garden, tons of potential, must see!

What have they done to these walls?

It’s kind of small.

Did somebody die here?

I’m worried about the master bedroom.

Just say you hate it. Either you like it or you don’t. People worry about leaks or subsidence not something fixed or something changeable (like tile.)

The bathroom needed to be completely redone so we figured we might as well replace the hideous tile the previous owner put in.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to redo a bathroom?

We need to do something about the yard.

If we ever sell this place, we’re going to need to do something about the yard.

4) If you don’t see what you’re looking for, please ask. Don’t forget to look in the garage and the backyard. There’s some nice patio furniture. They always said they were going to landscape, but they were always too busy. You know how it is. There are price lists in all of the bedrooms. Towels/sheets $5, bras $3, underwear $1. All VCR/DVDs $2.

5) Which bedroom is mine? I like this one. You can see the birds. It makes me happy.

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