Bert, a.k.a. The Wertis, was born in Spanish Harlem. Adopted with his lovable but uncouth companion, Harry, he grew up in the West Village in a world of sparkling conversation and dazzling wit. He often remarked that he had been born in the wrong era, having missed Paris in the 20s and the Golden Age of Disco. He later moved to Penn South, Tribeca and then to Chicago, where he lived with his psychoanalyst. He loved muffins and straws. You can reach us at firstname.lastname@example.org.